end of march

it's end of march already, feel like time goes faster(in certain part)ahah!! welcome APRIL! please be kind to me okay, i wish that my life will be better than before..i wish my love relationship is always okay, because we don't know what gonna happen in future right? so just pray for that, oh yeah for my result also..if the result come out,i hope i get flying colour to continue my studies..how's my love story?urm..seems like okay already..yeah..i should give him a time and some space like my friend told me last night (Hamizan a.k.a handsome man, thanks dude for your advise) haha!! text? no . just give a call... it's weird because makes me feel like i'm single , have no boyfie..i must learn how to be alone start from now because he will go to Terengganu for his BOMBA , just now i opened his FB account..and then check out his inbox, chat with lecturer UiTM KK about his bomba,his training will take 6months and perhaps work there (oh damn!) but our lect ask him transfer to kk,he wanna make PJJ at Uitm KK (i pray for that also) he really want to be a fireman..really-really crazy with bomba..he almost get it.. i just can pray for him, pray for our relationship hope will last longer together..i love him..miss him too..you all please pray for us too okay ?if we love someone, distance doesn't matter, it's just a way to show either we really love him/her with whole heart (again, nonsense talk) okay time to sleep i wanna dream about him see him in my sweetdream and i wish it come true..good night peeps !muahhh!

bleh maki kan??

salam.. menangis ! benda paling mudah bagi orang macam aku bila ada masalah..yeah , aku ada masalah,masalah ngan hubungan aku.. ntah kenapa belakangan nie aku rasa dea berubah..BERUBAH hal paling aku takut bila kami berjauhan macam sekarang dan sekarang benda tu jadi jgak..betul cakap orang kan people changed . bleh kan aku memaki hamun dalam blog sendiri ?? oke sial laa jaii!! aku tak tau apa masalah dea, angin kejap ok, kejap macam ribut taufan! texting then xreply, bila call marah-marah plak..aku tau laa dea penat balik keja but at least text aku cakap mau rest or apa-apa, dea jawab ? 'orang xlarat mau msg' BODOH !! jangan tunjuk kebodohan kau bleh x??aku try sabar ngan perangai dea..sebab aku respect dea as special one tapi bangkai yang dea bagi..sial!!dea macam sengaja cari silap aku, aku xtau kenapa dea macam tu.. aku sayang kau laa jantan!! tolong faham ckit laa!! aku rasa hati aku hancur bderai lagi halus dari pasir bila dea cakap ''sehari if xmsg xblh ka?'' What the F**K dude???!! apa guna ada balak if macam tu ?? macam bodoh kan?? yeah.. nampak sangat bodohnya kat sana! aku try hargai dea tapi kenapa dea macam tak hargai aku??aku memang tau dea hot temper. tapi haih ntah laa cakap main lepas ja dea tau, aku nie bukan sapa-sapa kut dalam hidup dea.. sebab tu senang ja dea buat aku macam neh...aku sayang dea.. dea xfaham aku..sedih tahap cipan!! aku macam mau punch wall ja nasib laa rumah kakak aku neh simen, haih... ya Tuhan, kuatkan hamba-Mu ini..semoga aku tabah ngan dugaan nie,,, Amin ..aku sayang dea dan hubungan kami even baru berapa bulan...for sure right now air mata aku macam mau jatuh lagiiiii.......................................................................

mid-night

its mid-night ! yeahhh... i post this entry mid-night because i can't sleep,so i wanna post something in this ugly blog but i still love it -nonsense- okay what i wanna share is about what just happened just now on my Facebook..ohh btw,let me share about my prince vanilla first k?u know what, he didn't text me !! OMG! i send him SMS and call him too many times , almost 2PM he still sleep??eeeee.....he driving me crazy oh..then he said 'wait, hang out for a while' yeah really WHILE .. until 7pm he ignore me WTH ! HAHA ! then suddenly someone answer my call, ask who I am..? wuuu...like a police man, his big brother talked to me..i was shocked but pretend like nothing..he said 'hp dea tertinggal tempat aku nie,nanti 2 3 hari aku bagi dea ok?sabar ja' whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! i feel like i wanna shout and cry on that time!! 1day didn't text him make me crazy already then he ask me to waiting for 3 4 day again ? Hell dude!! im lucky coz bro-in-law gave me phone no one girl this to cantact him..yeahhh a few minutes later , my love ask me to make a call.. eeiii... gerammmm!! geram jugak ngn perangai dea neh kadang-kadang..sabar ja la kan..ok let me share 2nd story , someone yang aku pernah rapat time aku di kampus tawau, merangkap BFF aku sekarang..aku online FB , chat in group..group uitm tawau..ramai jugak yang join..my love pun online juga time tu, tiba-tiba c 'KAWAN' nie muncul disitu, tiba-tiba post benda yang xsepatutnya and if my love nampak mesti jealous but i think dea nampak jugak tu tapi xgtau aku..hurm..apa yg c kwn buat tu memang buat aku terkejut tau, dalam chat tu bleh pla dea panggil fullname aku, matrix no. aku, ngn no.ic sekali..gilaaaaa!!terkejut beruk aku oh..ok yang pasti aku tau satu benda dea MENYESAL sebab xcouple ngn aku sebab dea kesian ngn my love time tu (time kami rapat tapi dah break ngn my love ) aku dok tunggu dea tapi dea xbagi respon jugak so aku terima balik my love and dapat jugak lepaskan aku dari masalah manusia yang xsayang mulut tu kan so biarkan saja mereka , aku sayang jgk..heee..aku hairan dan kadang-kadang macam aku xfaham ngn my love, bila suda berjauhan nie terpaksa sabar ja ngn sikap dea,aku paling takut kalau dea berubah..lagi-lagi bila dea masuk bomba lepas nie,dah laa kena hantar pegi semenanjung tu..kami yang sedia jauh nie bertambah jauh laa jawabnya kan??aku cuma mampu doakan yang terbaik untuk hubungan kami,aku tau jodoh bukan ditangan kita so aku kena prepare diri aku supaya KUAT untuk terima segala kemungkinan yang akan berlaku, yalahh aku bukan apa kita sebagai manusia biasa cuma mampu merancang kan? yang menentukan semua tu hanya Dia..setiap hari aku doa supaya hubungan aku sentiasa dipelihara,dijauhkan ngn masalah(gaduh sikit tu normal kan?) sekarang aku dalam proses menguatkan semangat diri sendiri, sebab aku nie susah jugak mau terima kenyataan..biar laa aku belajar slowly..hehe..tapikan ada masanya aku rasa aku terabai,dea macam xhiraukan aku..bila aku dah redha,hilang rasa dah haa time tu laa angin dea jadi ok..pelik betul aku..just move on ja laa kan? everything happen for a reasons.. yeah! this word make me strong!! apa-apa yang berlaku dalam hidup aku,aku anggap semuanya ada hikmah,be positive orang cakap..fuhh.. berjela jugak entry aku nie kali kan? ala bukan selalu pun..patut laa time SPM dapat A in BM haha!! oh yeah, lupa mau cakap pasal si Ex , aku nie kejam sangat ka ngn dea?hurm.. ramai plak orang cakap macamtu ngn aku..sorry yeah exku..aku doakan ko bahagia jgak..apa orang cakap perasaan mana bleh main paksa-paksa kan? so past is past laa kan..bukan mau selfish tapi itu laa yang terbaik kut...aku just dapat doakan kesejahteraan exku itu..semoga anda jumpa yang bagus dari saya oke? hee itu pun kalau dea baca blog aku nie kan.. maafkan hamba yea ex? hihihi.. oke now aku belum tidur mana sempat mau tidur nie, less than 1hour sure kena bangunkan sebab mau ke daerah pitas, mampus laa..terpaksa aku minum nescafe pasnie..huhuuu....oh ya aku rindu mama aku tau.. nie laa penyakit aku bila di Labuan aku boring , bila di KK aku rindu mama.. hurmm...xpa nanti aku call mama,macam yang aku selalu buat time di tawau, dua hari sekali aku call mama sebab rindu..hehe... ok laa penat dah aku taip nie.. itu saja untuk kali ini..cerita mid-night aku yang merapu nie, (tapi korg baca jgak kan?)haha.. thanks reader :) byebyeee~

dea dapat !!!

Mamaaaaaaaa!!!!!! OMG !! aku macam mau menangis saja bila tau NEWS itu tau!! er... sorry intro belum ada terus-terusan saja aku nie kan? ok hai semua followers and stalkers ku, harinie aku dapat berita itu, xtau laa aku harus happy or sedih sekarang nie..berita apa? okay my prince vanilla dapat masuk Bomba, (dea ada interview SPA masa kami masih study di kampus UiTM tawau) aku yang lapar tadi terus kenyang ja rasa..rasa mau nangis? of course!! tapi sabar saja laa,be strong laa kan? bila dea gerak?belum tau lagi bila..aku mau sangat jumpa dea before dea kena 'baling' ke mana-mana balai bomba d malaysia nie..mau sangat-sangat!!negative thinking !!itu laa masalah aku sekarang, dea pun penat suda suruh aku jangan fikir yang bukan-bukan..ok aku tengah cuba buang PENYAKIT aku tu tapi ambil masa laa kut. everything happen for a reasons kan kan kan? yeah yakin saja! harinie aku jalan jalan d bandar KK, jumpa abg aku , habiskan baucer buku tu,then makan makan di McD (akhirnya setelah mengidam selama dua bulan lebih sebab tawau xda McD) hahahah!! penat memang fullblast laa..time jalan tadi kat CP aku tjumpa Ziezie coursemate aku d kampus tawau, then d Mcd tjumpa geng Labuan aku..huhuuu..aku mau jumpa c sayang !!! aduii ntah bila..esok aku gerak ke Pitas,Kudat stay sana jadi babysitter laa plak jaga anak buah aku sebab kakak aku mengajar di SK apa ntah mana dea..apa laa rupa bentuk tempat tu memang pedalaman laa deangar-dengar, wait and see ok? k laa layan FB dulu memandangkan si cinta dah tidur jadi boring aku.. tata~






#so sad ouh~

kerinduan yang melanda diri

KENANGAN DI TAWAU ~

assalamualaikum..
oh...feel like i wanna shout 'i miss you sayangggggggggggg!!'
huwaaa..macam aku xdapat terima kenyataan oh yang kami berjauhan suda sekarang nie..alangkah bagusnya kalau aku dapat gerak ke Kota kinabalu jumpa dea sebelum dea balik kampung dea d Lahad datu..yeahhh!! semalam on the phone ngan dea,ya ampun..aku betul-betul rindu dea..dea kacau aku,dea cakap dea rindu mau marah aku (sebab d kampus dea selalu marah aku) aku dengar suara dea,seriously macam mau menangis aku..dea cakap jangan nangis,sebab besar suda..im trying sayang..batinnya kami berjauhan tapi aku rasa betul-betul dekat di hati, dea dekat di hatiku, dan aku rasa aku dekat dihatinya (jiwang plak ) tapi tu laa yang aku rasa..i wish i can see him..tadi dea ada call aku,tuhan ja yang tau betapa happynya aku dea call tadi..sebab dea out of credit semalam kan,so no sms, no call, tiba-tiba dapat calling dari dea..awww!!i like it ! aku tengok FB dea , gambar dea,, fuhhhh!! sabar saja laa.. hatiku, please be patient oke? hope our relationship will always okay..semoga dijauhkan ngn dugaan..selama di kampus,hari-hari nampak muka dea,now keadaan dah lain,jauh..cinta jarak jauh perlukan kepercayaan,kesetiaan, hope kami setia antara satu sama lain..insyaAllah.. aku rindu si sayang, aku jugak rindu kawan-kawan aku,rindu kampus,suasana di tawau..kenyataannya kami bukan lagi budak uitm kampus tawau,tapi BEKAS!! sedih aku ngn title tu tapi kena terima juga kan..ok laa i want to take a nap what a boring day without do anything.. chao!

Bye Tawau, Hi Labuan

Assalamualaikum and hi all..

19mac2012 its my last day at Tawau,specific location ?UiTM campus Tawau..sedih aku..lepas urus borang bhenti,dalam jam4PM aku gerak ke Bandar Tawau ngn Hana & Joe,agak lewat kami turun ke bandar kan?apa kami buat?Memandangkan kami kesuntukkan masa (sebab Bas express gerak jam730PM) kami kelam kabut beli barang,ambil duit kat ATM terdekat..hahh disana aku tjumpa ngn buipren kesayangan aku tu, Mr.A (dea gerak awal tinggalkan aku,kureng!) then kami gi Pasar Tawau,beli ole-ole untuk mama and kakak aku, pastu beli barang ckit..gara-gara bas pakcik Yus lambat,lambat juga laa kami sampai kampus..setibanya dikampus,huishhh!!coursemates ku yang semua dah ready tunggu bas ngn beg-beg mereka..aku ngn roomate ? baru mau gi mandi (keja gila)

kelam kabut habis kami,nasiblaa awal lagi dah habis pack barang,tinggal angkat ja..perjalanan selama 9jam ke Kota kinabalu memang memenatkan,tapi itu la saat-saat terakhir hamba bersama yang tersayang..memang aku xdapat tidur sepanjang perjalanan tu,rindu ngn dea sebab ntah bila kami akan spent time together masing-masing akan berjauhan (i hate that word JAUH) perjalanan yang lama tu pun rasa sekejap saja..huh! jam515 sampai di Kota Kinabalu, yeah..saat terakhir tengok muka dea..dea minta blanket aku untuk jadi kenangan,aku bagi ja..sebab dea bagi jersi dea kat aku, oh..ngn bracelet sekali..dea cakap jangan menangis syg, (separuh mati aku tahan buat-buat gembira) jam7 aku sambung perjalanan ke Menumbuk dan Labuan, hahhhh on the way tu laa mencurah-curah airmata ku tau,sampai uncle sebelah tu mesti heran tengok aku..HAHA ahh peduli laa..can't hold it anymore..memang sedih sangat-sangat tapi dea kuatkan aku, cakap nanti kami akan jumpa jgak..yeahh just perlu bersabar kan?jam9 aku sampai menumbuk, jam1020 baru feri tu gerak,Jam11 aku tiba d Labuan yang tercinta, Jam11lebih aku selamat menjejakkan kaki ke rumahku yang xseberapa tapi tetap bersyukur ada rumah jgak , miss my mama! my kitten ! my big mickey mouse!! HAHA , bye tawau and Hi Labuan that's my shout..my sweet bitter memories there at Campus UiTM tawau ! i found my Love there, my friends, and how to be independent person there..it's my exprience that i won't forget, orang cakap jauh perjalanan luas permandangan kan?(teringat 1st time dapat tau news kena pindah tawau,nangis gilagila) hahah.. okay laa berjela-jela sudah karangan aku nie kan? kamu pun mengantuk baca right? haha byebye !

Mr.A and him

hushhh!!post new entry again here..what a boring day without doing nothing today..woke up in the morning,took a bath,do some revision for my MAT , then take a nap..hell?? around 4pm had my lunch??hahah not lunch anymore right?then now update my blog at Library.. when i just arrived here, Mr.A was there..online his FB, beside him i just sat on that chair, pretend like nothing happen between us (can't hold my feelings eahh) feel like i wanna say 'hye' to him but hurmmm the situation is different now..he's my friend now.Honestly i miss him, i miss his laugh,his bad to me,what the hell i missed everything that we did before (suddenly i feel like i want to hug him just now) what a stupid feeling ouh this? there's a chance to change it but i don't know how to explain what is my feeling towards him. Sometimes i feel like i need him,really-really need him but sometimes i feel like i won't because seems like i could live without him..eh whatever ! this sunday we have Hari Terbuka Bersama RTM Tawau here in our campus, autoshow, and many more..can't wait for tomorrow..and then this tuesday is the day!!Final exam for BEL011..my revision for bel??not yet!! dont this what to study about it, grammar?? oh yes grammar !! my grammar is terrible oh that's why my language is broken..HAHAHAHAHAH!! Later on i'll study my grammar okay? you guys please pray for me..not only for my BEL but also for my MAT :) really appreciate it!

today,someone has told me what he really feel..we're close together..BFF?yeah..i think so..that WORD ?hurm..that's what i really waiting for?ermm no comment..let it be like that first..:) _end_

Trial Final ?

assalamualaikum! selamat petang (petang laa sebab aku post entry nie petang2 jam4.30pm waktu Tawau,sabah,Malaysia) heheh!! okay apa cerita lagi kali nie? huaaaaaaa!! trial untuk final mengejut ah pagi tadi..gila ahh..kena inform tu cuma Bengkel MATHS ready untuk final tapi bila masuk ja kelas tadi ada trial ??Nahhhhhhhh!! semua subject lagi tu..aku study cincai ja malam semalam tu pun bukan semua bab aku p buat revision, aku lagi dapat kelas seangkatan ngan mereka-mereka yang mempunyai pointer carry marks yang agak tinggi untuk final exam next week..Hoh!!sumpah seram sejuk aku jadinya..tapi buat slamba saja laa..biar tuhan ja yang tau apa aku rasa time tu..okay 3jam tu laa aku jawab soalan yang kena bagi..senang?not really..susah?yeah but still can answer it..lunch time..aku malas mau tengok muka mamat tu tapi muka dea yang aku nampak dulu bila sampai cafe,aku pun buat bodoh saja laa..macam dea xwujud saja..mesti orang sekeliling hairan tengok kenapa kami xbersama suda (euwww ayat gedik) aku buat xtau saja..time makan tadi,hana ask me to do not text with someone anymore?hurmmm..why?i just know that his ex-gf still in love with him?terus aku rasa lain-lain..just keep on silent infront them..and kelas petang tadi, text with Mr.A .. macam blur suda aku ngn dea nie ohh..kejap on kejap off.. oh Mr.A i HATE your new style dude!! botak?Adehhhhh suda aku cakap jangan bagi botak tapi botak jga..padan muka ko hilang hensem suda ! (honestly xsuka aku tgk dea botak,xkena langsung) macam penyamun suda aku tgk..hahah!! ok trial maths tadi? banyak careless oh,,benda-benda yang sepatutnya bleh score tapi cuai punya pasal..haiyaaa!! tapi syukurlaa aku lepas jga pass :) now mau target A lagi..macam senang macam susah..ehh....apa nie?hahah...aku penat sangat nie,badan pun sakit suda sebab exam tadi ,xcukup tidur lagi..okay mau ke dreamland kejap..rehatkan minda :P heheheh byebye~

still or not ?

hufhufhuffff ! freakin'cold oh now !! its raining here at campus plus with aircond this =='

okay first thing i wanna share about something that happened in this morning!!

oh man! feel like i wanna jump from hostel because of that THING !

okay what happened? sir surjan (lect subjek MAT) make some extra special class for those 

not good enough for MAT subject..who is get C class not for A or B's students..

so i got A class and Hanna got B class, waiting for sir at the class with them..

sir was there , suddenly he asked me , why we were here ?? OMG!!

He told me , my name out of list because he knows my class is A..

then he told me i have to leave that class.. WTH??hahah!!

you know what is my feeling on that time??perghhhhhhhh!! feels like i wanna throw my

face into the sea! my classmates also help us , let sir surjan give us permission to join them.

but so sad , we have to leave that class no matter what..

haiyaaa!! useless this woke up early in the morning =='

but its okay at least they know that me and Hanna a good students..HAHAH ! hell !

okay that's all about what just happened in thye morning..

now let me share about a guy that we called 'SPECIAL BOYFRIEND'

oh yeah i never share about him here right?HAHA have no time to share story about him..

let's label him with Mr.A a person i just met here in campus 

we were fine before but because of her ex-gf  makes us not okay

i wanna @#$% her!! but don't worry i'm a good girl (hope so)

4days we lost contact ,didn't see each other..but you know guys,before this i will find him

when we're not okay but for this time i just let him do what he want and looks like i don't care 

anymore..Why? because what he did was really enough to make me say 'i don't care'

it's fuckin' hurt oh.. stupid!! hahah (out of control this) 

i asked him either we're still together or not,but what i got? he asked me like this 'ko rasa?'

wow man !! what a damn hell answer u gave me ? no call no msg from him..so that's mean ? we break off already ?? hishhh!! just wanna make me in trouble oh this guy!

my feelings toward him? urmmm...gone ? i think so..sometimes i feel like i need him but

sometimes i don't..but now my life is much better WITHOUT him..peace !!

my status now is SINGLE and welcome to a single life Effy !! wakakaka.. 

like Miss Astia told me "enjoy your life first" yeahh i will enjoy my life first !!

heheeee..okay my finger cramp already this (feel so cold now)

gtg gudbye my followers,readers, and stalker :P

mmmmuaahhh!!

its picnic time (:

o3o32012 , saturday @ Batu Payung, Tawau.
picnic time !! with my crazy classmates , group W ..
BBQ , snap pict, sing a songs, waaahhh..awesome!!
memang tenang jiwa aku di tempat tu..lupa masalah aku..
share opinion ngn member aku , si James..a person who
like to speak English..so i have to do so..HAHA!
saja gedik mau speaking london kan...

ok jugak share ngn member nie , open my mind to think 
about something that we never realize it..
its true..apa-apa pun feel much better after sharing..
syok sangat dapat kumpul ramai-ramai, lagi-lagi bersama 
lect BEL kami Miss Astia best sporting lecturer EVER !!
gonna miss her for sure.. dont know when we can meet again 
after this.. sebab next week is study week already , no more class..
sharing ngn Miss pun okay jgk,, i'll remember what Miss said to me ,
'enjoy your life first' no need to frust or jump into the sea..HAHAH!
yeahh i like it ! aku ingat itu sampai bila bila..
bila tengok laut , macam aku mau menjerit saja tadi..
lepaskan apa yang menyemak di kepala aku nie..
tapi apa bleh buat malu aku nanti kena label GILA..
aku tahan saja laa , dapat spend time di sana pun kira relax dah aku..
ada lagi orang send SMS dekat aku , yang buat aku rasa mau 
melayang-layang saja di tepi laut tu tadii..HUAHUAAA!
sweet memories ever ! ntah bila lagi kami dapat kumpul macam tadi..
sedih bila difikir balik tinggal berapa hari lagi kami bersama di kampus 
final exam pun xsabar suda mau jumpa kami..
rindu laa nanti ngn dorg di sini..
okay laa nothing to say again..
aku memang happy picnic ngan classmates aku harinie
walaupun bukan semua join kami..
thanks to all yang join...

 

 

Batu Payung ~

di jeti ~